I am happy.

I always felt that I didn’t fit in. Not just when moving to another country with another language, no; I didn’t even fit in in my own country. I was always punished at school for being ”too much” of a dreamer, or considered an ”over the top” smiling person, as if ”I am mocking you while I talk to you” sort of thing; or because I feel too much and I am an extremely sensitive person. I never understood why those things about me were wrong but I learned to overcome the comments and started to be free.

When I started to do that, all those aspects mentioned before, started to increase without an option to stop them or control them. Since then, I keep getting the comments but I don’t care that much because I am happy with who I am and where I am going. Yes, whenever I talk to you, you might think I am nuts because I don’t have a job anymore, or my own place, or own things or all that stuff that comes with being a grown up, or we think they do.

Now, I feel free. I paid all my debt and I might have no savings like you, but I feel happy and in control of my life, sometimes. I am starting to let go all those walls that kept me ”sane”, or I thought, and it feels wonderful. For the people that know me, you know how organized and freakishly crazy about time, details and plans I can be; well, now I am on automatic with the life ahead of me as the driver. I plan some, but then I let it be and here I am, writing this now. If something doesn’t work out, there is always plan B and the rest of the ABC’s, for that matter.

I started this journey of the travelling freckle, with all those emotions in a raw state, because I let them loose. So I had to sit down, and filter them(I am still learning to do so). Now, I hear myself first and follow the signs that present before me, as a person, an event, as anything basically; and it just amazes me how closed we are and because of that, we miss these little things that guide us. Once you open your eyes and attitude towards finding out who you are, you own your life. You stop following what you think it’s right; and most importantly, you become you.

I feel that I have found my passion, which you might or might not understand, but my passion is to discover our world and the people in it. I am way too excited to be able to do what I’ve always loved to do, and this is just the beginning of it. I am not isolating myself from this world by doing this journey. I am actually throwing myself into this world without a care if I am considered a crazy person or not, because I am where I want to be.

All I am trying to say is that, I keep daydreaming, I keep smiling way too much as in ”I am mocking you while I talk to you” sort of way, I feel too much everything around me and I cry when I am happy or if you are happy, and if I am sad and if you are sad; that’s how I am, and how I will be, and there is no way back. I belong to the world and to me. I am me.

p.s. just be you, love yourself, and take care of our lovely planet.

That was a sweet rant and I am still practicing on how to put into words EVERYTHING I think at the same time in my head…!

“Les temps sont durs pour les rêveurs”
Lima, Perú. 13 JULIO 2015. Día gris.

MUAH!

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10 comentarios sobre “I am happy.

  1. Love this Andrea!
    I felt this way my entire life, and sometimes i don’t understand the “normal” human behavior, but everything you wrote here, it’s pretty much how i feel. Im also discovering myself, by observing me, and observing others.
    Life is the most precious thing.
    Thanks for sharing this 🙂

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  2. You are so sweet! I am so happy you get to do what you love and be who you are. It’s no wonder we clicked instantly when we first met as if we had known each other all our lives. I love and miss you morochita. Be well!

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  3. nicely put, I think at this age everybody feels this way (I know I do), the thing is you actually put it into words and screamed it out loud.. the important thing is that no matter what, always try to stay in the road you think (or know) youre supposed to be (whatever that is) and just keep on rolling.. until this get clearer and life easier (as easy as it could get). I dont know if this makes any sense. What youre doing its incredible, i wish i was doing it myself, but hey! I have my own road to walk, so you do it for me and for you (of course) and for everyone that wants to live life this way but cant.

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  4. I feel the same way!!! I am just doing my best to be the best me and be happy being me!!! The world will try and make you feel bad for being yourself, but who are they to judge. Their opinions/comments do not matter and neither do they. The people who love and support you are the only ones that matter!!

    Hope your travels are going well!!! Maybe I will join you soon!!

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